How do they manage to keep a straight face when people come in with this stuff

Two women report ghost has been having sex with them

April 25, 2008

The following is a sample from the Federal Way police public information log:

• At 4:02 p.m. April 10, two women went into the Federal Way police station claiming that over the past two years, a paranormal person has been placing sensors on their bodies and visiting them in their house at 28600 block of 25th Place South. They said that the ghost has been having sexual intercourse with them. One woman said that these incidents started in Kent and continued when she moved here. The other woman said that this just started now.

• At 3:36 p.m. April 12, a woman contacted the Federal Way police to report that a person was cutting a large tree down. She was concerned it could fall on her car or on her house located in the 30800 block of 22nd Avenue South. The woman who was trying to cut the tree was contacted and said that she needed to cut the tree because it was hazard.

• At 10:10 a.m. April 11, an unknown person cut the vinyl top of a woman’s car in the 30800 block of 8th Avenue SW, and gained access to the vehicle. All belongings inside the car had been gone and the total damage for the vehicle was about $1,200.

• At 1:18 p.m. April 10, Pro-Act received information about a house in the 29800 block of 4th Avenue SW, that was possibly cultivating marijuana. Police went inside the house with consent. They reported finding more than 60 budding marijuana plants inside one of the rooms. The suspect claimed that he was cultivating plants for medical purposes. The plants were seized and the case is under investigation.

• At 9:09 p.m. April 10, a man received a call at his house located in the 33600 block of 38th Avenue South from an unknown business location, asking him why he hadn’t paid for a “girl on girl” porn service from April 9. They also told him that he owed a “guy on guy” service from Feb. 26. At this point, the man said that he laughed because he thought the call was absurd, but then the person on the line said that it wasn’t a joke and that he better pay. The case is under investigation.

• At 6:31 a.m. April 7, in the 1900 block of SW 356th Street, two men were strangely wandering around their house. One was wearing a tank top and pants, yelling that he was hearing and seeing things outside. He was saying that people were stealing from him, and was pointing at his garage. Police said that the man appeared to be paranoid and delusional, and that he was living in filth, utilizing the stove as heat. The other man was running around the yard with a hammer.

• At 12:52 a.m. April 7, two men got into a fight. One of them punched the other in the nose causing the other to bleed, and eventually retrieved a machete from inside the residence. It appeared that these men had a relationship for over 10 years and were currently residing together in the 600 block of South 317th Street.